My body is written with scars

scars on my body stretch marks positivity

scars on my body stretch marks positivity

I don’t need to cover my stretch marks in glitter to celebrate them. They already tell me a story of a young girl growing up and becoming her own person. They remind me, that beautiful is imperfect. They remind me, that skin, is just skin.

 

This morning I woke up with a nice tan. Perfect, really. It’s almost as if I’ve been to a beach holiday for a week and managed to get the most even tan ever, without the dryness. And yes, obviously my color is from a self tanner. I’ve been trying out a new one that I really like.

But that’s not the point of this post – just a nice detail (I’ll tell you about the product at the end of this post).

I woke up with the tan and I realized that it made my stretch marks really stand out. A real tan does that as well, mind you. The skin on my scars is lighter, smoother and different and that makes them stand out especially when I tan.

I was reminded, that I’m actually full of those scars. And when I say full, I mean full. That might surprise you – even though I’m normal weight or skinny in some standards, and have never really been much bigger than this, I still have stretch marks.

And since it’s the bikini season and there are so many women and men being insecure about their bodies and imperfections, I wanted to talk a little about #scarpositivity.

 

body positivity

Stretch marks are just skin

I have stretch marks on my back, on my hips, on my butt, thighs, shins, arms and boobs. My body is full of them, especially the womenly parts. I got them when puberty hit me and I think one of the reasons I got so much of them was because puberty hit me hard. I grew up quick, literally. After anorexia and other eating disorders, suddenly my body went from very thin to normal. I’m pretty sure my eating disorder prevented me from growing up gradually (if that makes sense?) and when I finally started eating better, my body could change.

My post on eating disorders: Living with the monster

And then again, I think I’m just one of those people who get stretch marks easily. The scars on my back came when I was very young, before puberty. I remember my school doctor looking at my back and saying, that usually only boys get those linear scars. A comment that a young girl doesn’t necessarily want to hear, mind you.

But here I am. With my scars. And you know what? I don’t mind them. At all. (Okay okay, there are moments where the scars on my inner thighs slightly upset me.)

 

mental health

I’m not ashamed of them. I’m not appalled by them. I might actually feel a little empowered by them. I don’t need to cover my stretch marks in glitter to celebrate them. They already tell me a story of a young girl growing up and becoming her own person. They remind me, that beautiful is imperfect. They remind me, that skin, is just skin.

And yes – when they were bright red, in my teens, they were the most horrible thing in the world. They were red. They were visible, if I was wearing an open top. I was angry.  I was finally becoming a woman, but at what cost? I was a red-striped zebra – definitely not something I signed in for.

Stretch marks are just skin

But here I am and I’m okay. They turned out to be just skin (who would have guessed?). They got lighter. They became my skin. They are not visible, not really. Only if you know to look for them.

And I’m not sure why, but I feel calm and reassured now. The marks on my body, they didn’t matter. They didn’t prevent me from living my life.

So whatever is on my mind now, stressing me out or making me feel ugly – I’m pretty sure in ten years from now, it won’t matter. Or if it does, it’s only making me stronger.

I guess I just really wanted to say, that stretch marks and scars are normal. They are just skin. I have lots of them and I’m pretty sure if I ever got pregnant I would have a ton more. They could upset me for a while, after which I would accept them and move on.

Loving your own body and skin – now there’s a beautiful thing to remember and cherish.

 

minetan violet self tan 1 hour tan

minetan Super Dark Violet 1 Hour Express Tan review

I got gifted this product from lookfantastic. *adlink

The self-tanner I used was *minetan’s  1 hour express tan in the shade Super Dark Violet. I’m not sure if the color really matters (there are different options), because the active ingredient is your basic DHA. I really like this self tanner. It’s easy to apply with a mitt, it blends easily and dries quickly. That’s one of the benefits of a foam – they are the lightest option when it comes to skin feel. It gives a natural looking tan, that is not orange.  It lasts pretty well on my skin and wears off gradually, which is a good thing as well. I also used the *minetan mitt, which made the application process smooth. I really recommend using some mitt, that way you don’t have to worry about orange hands.

 

 

 

 

You are brave

brave

”You are so brave for talking about this.”
“It’s brave of you to share this, thank you.”

Those are the kind of comments I get on some of my posts – mostly to the personal ones. Like when I opened up about my depression, or when I shared unedited photos of my acne. Or when I wore my acne anti-coverage makeup. Or just for even sharing my life with thousands of readers from all over the globe.

But here’s what I think:

Brave? Me?

you are brave

Maybe, but there are tons of people out there, who are actually, really, being so brave. People fighting cancer. People losing their loved ones. People having their life stomped to the ground and still walking their head held high. People being so depressed, that there’s no difference between night or day, sleep or conscious.

I am just sharing my life. It’s really no different from anyone else’s. I smile, I cry, I laugh and sometimes I fall. Just like you do. I don’t consider myself brave in the way you might think. I mean, it’s not about who is saying what – who has the guts to write something on the internet. It’s just as wise not to say anything, not to write anything or even not to spend any time on the internet.

I guess what I’m saying is, is that there are worse things, that surviving something horrible. There are worse things, that having some pain. There are not so nice things in the world. We all experience them. So what I’m really trying to say is, that you’re not really that different from me and it’s just life.

We all know there’s no such thing as perfect – maybe it’s time to stop acting like it? Maybe this blog is my way of saying, that you are beautiful, even though your road is bumpy and you don’t always smile to your salad.

Life is a beautiful mess. But then you get to go home after a horrible day, hug your loved ones and eat chocolate on the sofa and kick your socks to the floor. A moment, where no one has to clean up or save the world.

We are all brave in our own ways.

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photos Inka Lähteenaro