I understand you

depression beauty blogging

dresden germany by night

.. even for just a little bit.

I want to get back to the subject I wrote about recently, when I shared my story about severe depression (here). I’m not sure what I expected out of the post, but I’m beyond happy, that you took it so well. Apparently many people out there feel like it’s a good thing to talk about it. I think so too.

Depression is something I went through about five years ago. It feels like it was a hundred years ago – or happened in another life. I know some people think depression is chronical, but I think it’s also something that can be cured.

depression mental health blog

So why am I just now talking about it?

I think I needed those years to pass, before I wanted to think about the whole subject again. I couldn’t have written about it before – I wouldn’t have had the strength to or the right words. I still struggle with words, though. The topic is so fragile, I’m afraid I’m gonna break it. We all experience depression or anxiety differently. We all experience mental health differently. But what’s in common with all of us – is that we all do have mental health.

Nowadays I consider myself to be “depression free” (I don’t have any medications anymore, not for a few years now – and there’s not ‘depression’ on my health records  anymore), but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes struggle. We all struggle. If you break your leg once, it’s gonna be a little fragile for a while – and easier to break the next time, right? I’m forever carrying the painful memories and every once in a while I feel like I have to look back, just to remember that I’m on the right path and things could be so much worse.

In my blog I talk about superficial things. I share my makeup looks, my outfits. I travel and talk about the good little things. I spread positivity. But I want you to know where I come from –  I didn’t just get to where I am by walking on sunshine.

I want to keep talking about mental health every once in a while here. I want to conveniently – or not so conveniently – pair it with makeup posts and the beautiful products I love. I want to do style posts and share my outfit photos – because I don’t have to hide myself anymore and the smile you see in the photos is real. I want to tell stories about all the countries I’ve visited – because I never knew I was gonna be able to see them. I want to write, because it’s one of the gifts I have.

depression my story blog

I am so thankful for the life I’m living right now. I love my life. I no longer wake up in the morning and instantly want to get back to sleep – I want to get up and be there for myself and others. And even though I’m in a good place right now with my life, I still understand you. And I encourage you. You can do it too – I believe there is hope for everyone.

It doesn’t matter where you are now.

You may be curled up in your bed with all the curtains closed. You may be in a hospital staring at the blank walls and your quiet roomies. You may be broke. You may be broken. You may be holding your breath with nothing, but yesterday in your hands.

And the worst of all: you may be alone. You may be the most alone you’ve ever been, doubting your existence.

There might be a whole continent between us, but know this:

I understand you.

And one day, be it five years or ten years from now, you’ll understand too.

The pictures are from Dresden, Germany from July.  We did a quick visit to the city and in that time we got to see beautiful buildings, eat delicious burgers, see a festival (and sing along to some familiar songs) and drive 200 km/h on a freeway. The makeup photo is from a video tutorial, which can be found here.

I’m a cliche

lifestyle blog

lifestyle blog

It’s been a few days (read: a week) since I got back from my trip and I think I’m finally ready to do some writing. For me it takes a few days to settle in, accept that the holiday is over and just get on with the work.

Not opening my laptop for two weeks and not writing a single post (I might have typed some drafts on my phone though) did good for me – and made me actually miss blogging. So here I am – back with the blog, back with the writing. With the topic that is, clichès. Me. Because I am one.

Sometimes, when I’m posting a photo on instagram and coming up with the description, I want to throw a clichè quote in there. Or I’m writing a blog post, I notice, that I sound like a cliche. I usually back out from those – we all have heard these things already, right? I don’t want to annoy anyone. But also – and that is a subject to another blog post really – annoying some people is inevitable. Not all of us are meant to be friends.

Today I thought of all the clichès, that suit me and instead of pushing them out of my mind – I chose to embrace them.
The links are to my blog posts, about the subject.

lifestyle blog charlotta

I’m a cliche..

because I had to stumble, fall and rise up again to get to where I am. The mistakes I’ve made? Probably inevitable for me to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe, that beautiful things can well become of something ugly and horrible. Whenever I feel clumsy or scared, I think to myself:
What if I fall? Oh, my darling, what if you fly?

I’m a clichè

.. because I’ve gone through things, that could have steered my life to a totally different direction, but I chose another way. I’ve talked about some of these things, such as being suicidal and depressed.
  I am not, what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.

wellbeing lifestyle blog

I’m a clichè

.. because I quit my well-paid job, decided to start my own company and find my own way. Sometimes I feel like a weirdo, when all of my friends are either studying or working in cool companies. I still feel this big power inside of me, that believes in me and knows I will end up on my feet, safe and sound. So really:
   Just because my path is different doesn’t mean I’m lost.

I’m a clichè

.. because I totally believe in the power of positivity. I used to think, that people were just born with a big smile on their faces, always happy and cheerful. I still think, that some people are born with that gift, but more so, I believe, that we are able to learn positivity. For most of my young life, I wasn’t that happy – I was miserable inside and had this huge grudge against the world.  I had reasons to be like that, but I luckily learned, that they don’t have to determine the way my life is.
   Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.

charlotta blog

I’m a clichè

.. because I want to be an advocate for being confident in who you are in this crazy world. I know it’s pretty damn hard sometimes and you and everyone else has their own image of the perfect human being they should be. We have social media, that is both good and bad for us, we have magazines, movies, everything. It’s easier to find flaws, than good things in yourself. Here is something to live by:
   Be your own kind of beautiful.
  Be yourself – everyone else is already taken.

And finally..

Life is better, when you’re laughing.

What is your favorite quote?

photos Viivi N. Media