You are brave

brave

”You are so brave for talking about this.”
“It’s brave of you to share this, thank you.”

Those are the kind of comments I get on some of my posts – mostly to the personal ones. Like when I opened up about my depression, or when I shared unedited photos of my acne. Or when I wore my acne anti-coverage makeup. Or just for even sharing my life with thousands of readers from all over the globe.

But here’s what I think:

Brave? Me?

you are brave

Maybe, but there are tons of people out there, who are actually, really, being so brave. People fighting cancer. People losing their loved ones. People having their life stomped to the ground and still walking their head held high. People being so depressed, that there’s no difference between night or day, sleep or conscious.

I am just sharing my life. It’s really no different from anyone else’s. I smile, I cry, I laugh and sometimes I fall. Just like you do. I don’t consider myself brave in the way you might think. I mean, it’s not about who is saying what – who has the guts to write something on the internet. It’s just as wise not to say anything, not to write anything or even not to spend any time on the internet.

I guess what I’m saying is, is that there are worse things, that surviving something horrible. There are worse things, that having some pain. There are not so nice things in the world. We all experience them. So what I’m really trying to say is, that you’re not really that different from me and it’s just life.

We all know there’s no such thing as perfect – maybe it’s time to stop acting like it? Maybe this blog is my way of saying, that you are beautiful, even though your road is bumpy and you don’t always smile to your salad.

Life is a beautiful mess. But then you get to go home after a horrible day, hug your loved ones and eat chocolate on the sofa and kick your socks to the floor. A moment, where no one has to clean up or save the world.

We are all brave in our own ways.

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photos Inka Lähteenaro

Skin update – Taking birth control pills for acne

It’s already been over three months, that I started to take birth control pills again for my acne. I thought it would be a good time to show you the results.

Looking at these photos and my skin, it just goes to show how slow it is to treat acne. No treatment is quick – especially when the acne is as bad as it was with me. It takes a long time for the skin to heal properly and it takes a lot of patience. However, the pills have been working for me, as I had anticipated, since I’ve already gone through this once as a teenager.

The pills I take are called Cypretyl and they are the strongest one (I think). They are especially made for acne.

hormonal acne birth control pills
Hormonal acne. This was my skin in November – it was even worse than in this photo, but this is the best photo I could find. Then this is my skin now, in February.

So how does my skin look and feel now?

Well, most of the acne is gone. I say most, because there are still some stubborn ones. Not so much on my face anymore – and the ones on my neck are also kind of fading – but the part that is healing the slowest is my back. But it is healing too. And no, I don’t have any pictures of my back acne, I haven’t documented it here. I trust that showing you my bare face is bad enough. Haha.

Obviously for these photos I got a new zit on my face, but believe me when I say that it’s rare nowadays. Even though my face might not look like it in the photos, it’s so smooth. Honestly, I still shiver when I think about my acne at it’s worst: it was super painful and applying makeup or lotions or removing makeup or touching my face in any other way hurt.

acne scars
My skin now, after taking birth control pills for three months. Active acne is gone (besides a few zits) and all that’s left is scarring, which is fading pretty quickly.

My acne scarring is fading pretty quickly too. I was a bit scared about that part. At first the scars were so red and I could feel that my skin was uneven on those areas. But day by day they have faded and it’s getting easier and easier to hide them with makeup. And as I said, my skin feels smooth. So I’m pretty optimistic that I will have a good-looking skin by Summer. This year I need to be even more careful with sunscreen though  – my skin has gone through a lot and is sensitive to sun damage right now.

The pills don’t only take away acne. They also adjust the skin type a bit. My skin is not as oily as it has been before, it’s more of a dry combination skin now, especially since the weather has been super cold here. Treating my new skin is fun – it can take more lotion and it doesn’t break out as easily as it did before.birth control pills for acne

Altogether I can say that I am super happy with my skin. Making the decision to start taking birth control pills again was hard and I had some regrets in the beginning, but right now I feel like it was the right decision. I had forgotten how it feels to have my skin back. Even though I worked on my confidence during acne, I still feel more confident now that it’s not that visible and startling anymore. And one of the things I am super happy about, is that I also have found my love of makeup again. Having acne I just didn’t even feel like wearing anything on my face and nothing seemed to look good on me. And taking makeup photos for blog posts was torture – when I tried to take photos of my makeup the only thing taking all the attention in the photos was my red, bumpy acne. Well, no more.

I am so relieved, happy and feeling a lot more like myself.

This journey has also affected my skin care routine, and treating those acne scars is super important – so I will update you about that soon.

Any other acne victories? Or are you still searching for the cure? 
However it is – I hope your skin gets better too and I send you a lot of hugs, because I know how hard it can be to battle acne.