My heart is tilted

These past days it have felt, as if my heart was tilted. As if it did not know how to be or which way to beat. As it it was sick, just a little bit.

There have been some sad news and some good news. Packed together as usual. But somehow even the good news have turned bad news in my mind.

It feels selfish to long for someone, when all they are doing is living their life to the fullest. Seeing the world, conquering their fears and enjoying life. But it feels as if so many people around me are leaving. Not for a holiday, but for a longer period of time. Months, years. Including my sister, my best friend, my other sister and my other friend, who’s already gone, and who I miss terribly.

My best friend Pinja flew back to Australia and I have tried to understand why it feels so bad to have one friend move to the other side of the world, when your world is full of wonderful people. Packed, even. I have come to the conclusion, that every relationship is unique and no matter how many friends you might have around you – no one can replace the place, that is reserved just and only for that one person.

Wednesday night, as I was crying the whole car ride back home, I thought about this. You can live anywhere you like, you can have whatever job you like, you can stress about your looks, but what is it, that actually makes you happy? What really makes me happy – and what is actually important in my life, are family and friends or to put it simply: love. There’s a painting in our home that says: Home is whenever I’m with you. And I couldn’t agree more – maybe that’s why I painted that painting.

There’s always a silver lining though. At least that’s what I keep telling myself and so far I’ve found that.

The past week was amazing. I got to spend so much time with Pinja and there were lots of laughs, one photoshoot and a reminder, that true friendship can take the distance. There was also a hilarious visit to the grocery store, when all we bought was literally just ice cream, cake, cookies, candy and chocolate.
There’s still time, before my sisters leave and the time spent with them is never boring. Even if it was just a few hours with a cup of coffee. I wish I could write every blog post with my sister – they become hilarious – even though it takes double time to write it and half of the text needs to be wipen off.
There’s a glitter party this weekend and I plan to cover my friends in glitter. Could there be a better theme for a party? Feels good to see everyone, relax and maybe have a drink or two – especially after this roller coaster of feelings I’ve had this week.

These photos were from the photoshoot we did with Pinja. It was hilarious and not the least, because my sister got to play a photographer and she couldn’t hate it more. Somehow she still always comes through – how is that for true love. You’ll be seeing our photos here on my blog, on my insta (@charlottaeve) and Pinja’s insta (@pinjaelisa).