When acne just doesn’t leave you

Acne

Acne medication

Apocyclin acne

Here’s the truth: I have bad skin. I have acne. Again, or still, however you want to phrase it.
My skin and my acne has gone up and down for the past year. I’s been really bad and then it’s been not-so-bad. Never has it been good though. Only my reaction to it has varied during this year.

Seeing my photos you might think: her skin is good. It’s not so bad. But it’s not really. Putting on a certain foundation my skin looks almost flawless – especially in photos since the foundation might reflect light or otherwise smooth my skin to look pretty. Taking photos in a good light might again smooth my skin – or taking photos with a flash which – ironically – takes away the pimples in a flash. Another thing is that when I take a selfie face straight to the camera – the worst part of my skin is hidden. My jaw and my cheeks kinda disappear and the focus is on the center of my face.

blogging about acne

Then there’s the editing. I don’t edit my photos much, but when I do it’s because I don’t like the acne taking away the focus from the makeup. Also – those pimples is not me, not really – so why would I want to show them to the world? Or is it a part of me I should just accept?

That’s the funny thing about acne – it doesn’t really feel like your skin, like your face. And it isn’t, not really. The real skin, the real you is underneath all that, getting blocked by those painful, awful spots that some days feel like the worst thing in the world and sometimes they’re invisible to the eye.

Do you know what’s the only medicine to treating acne and is also the most challenging thing there is? It’s time. Every treatment takes time – be it 10 facials, a new skincare regime or a drug. I’ve given my skin that, time. I’ve given it a year and I’m back at the square one. I promised myself I could get my skin better by just taking care of it and that I wouldn’t need any drugs. I got frustrated, so I tried the Acnatac -gel, which I wouldn’t have wanted to use (because the side effects). It did help – at the time it felt like a lot – but now when I look back I think it only helped a little. It didn’t take my acne completely away and slowly my skin started to get worse again.

Blogtexts about Acnatac -gel.

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4.10.16. After Acnatac. The biggest inflamed spots were gone but my skin was still full of small pimples and it slowly began to get worse from this.

acne
17.2.17. The day I started to take Apocyclin. My skin reacted to travelling and I had a lot of red sore pimples.

acne

23.2.17. My skin yesterday. I’m wearing a light layer of makeup.

acne blogger

24.2.17. My skin today without makeup.

When my doctor prescribed me Acnatac she also gave me antibiotics in case the gel didn’t work. I didn’t purchase them until now – almost a year later. I’m not sure why I waited so long to start considering them as a treatment – I’m not against drugs, but I guess I just wanted my skin to heal ‘naturally’ -whatever that means. In a way I felt like buying those drugs was a loss. Admitting to the problem isn’t always easy, is it?

My drugs are ‘Apocyclin’, antibiotics which I should take for about 3-4 months (See again: time). It’s only been week since I started taking them so there’s no progress yet. I’m prepared to not seeing progress for at least a month. Also – I’m prepared to see my skin getting worse before getting better because that usually happens with these kind of medicine. (See how I say I’m prepared? I can’t say I really am. I’m pretty sure the reality will be me crying my eyes out seeing my skin getting worse than it already is.)

My attitude towards acne medication is a bit negative and that is because I’ve already tried it. Twice, if I recall right. When my acne first broke out at the age of 13 I ate two rounds of some kind of pills. They helped a little at the time but not really. I only got my acne away with birth control pills. But – I don’t really remember what the drugs were and I think these are a different kind. I hope.

Negativity doesn’t really help with this kind of problem so I’m trying hard to stay positive and hopeful. Maybe this time the medicine will work – I’m not 13 anymore and my hormone levels and everything must be different than then. Maybe I’ll finally get my skin back to the condition it deserves.

I think I will blog about my experience and share as much as I can about this journey. I know many struggle with the same problem so I want to help in any way I can.
no makeup selfie

If you read this because you have acne, here is a checklist for you and for me. Just so that we don’t forget:

  • You are beautiful. Never let yourself believe anything else.
  • You are strong. This stupid problem is only outside and it will never get to the inside of your beautiful heart and soul. Don’t let it in.
  • You are not alone. There are so many people fighting acne it’s ridiculous. And there are tons of people who have succeeded to get rid of acne. And so will you.
  • You will get the beautiful skin you deserve. It will happen. I can’t promise it will happen tomorrow, but it will, some day. It’s gonna be okay.

All of the photos of this post are non-edited.

Skin update – How I treat my acne?

 

I’ve been really open about my skin struggles. I wrote about birth control pills and how they affected me here. I also wrote about my acne here. Since then my skin has actually gone even worse and finally I decided to go to the doctor.

First of all: there is only so much you can do about acne. You need to have a good routine but not use too much products and constantly wash your face. You need a good gentle cleanser, a toner and a lotion. Serums, mask and exfoliators also help. You should exfoliate and do mask about once per week. Depending on the serum you can use it daily or couple times per week. For oily skin and acne I recommend a serum that has salisylic acid or other BHA in them.

That said, I noticed that I wasn’t getting anywhere with my routine. So my doctor prescribed me acnatac to try at first. It has tretinoin in it to help heal the impurities. I have to apply it on my skin every evening for 12 weeks. Now is my third week of using it and actually I see some improvement already.

The gel makes me more sensitive to the sun and I have to use SPF30 everyday on the areas I apply it. That’s not a problem since I’m already using sunscreen and I’ve found ones that work for me. The only downside to this is that since the gel is exfoliating me every night there’s really no use in using self tanners. I’m used to them so it’s a shame I’ve had to kiss them goodbye for now. I’m definetely gonna start using them again in the fall though! I love Eco By Sonya’s products.

After starting to use acnatac I’ve become ridiculously oily and dry at the same time. I really don’t mind since I know I’m getting rid of my acne but it’s been a struggle. Luckily I’ve found some great moisturisers to be used in the morning and great makeup products that don’t become cakey on me and they actually help with the oiliness. More about them later!

Also my routine has become simpler. I’m not allowed to exfoliate my skin or use any harsh chemicals on it. I’m even doubtful of using a purifying mask – I may need to find a new gentle yet effective mask for that. I have some moisturising sheet masks that I got from Bearel so I will be trying them soon to help with the dryness. For now my products are here (+moisturisers that I will talk about later):

Coconut oil (to take off makeup & sunscreen in the evening)
EkoPharma Purifying Gel Cleanser (In the evening & in the morning)
Acnatac (In the evening)
Biosolis SPF30  (In the morning)

Are there anyone else on some tretinoin?