Dear diary,
lately our baby monitor hasn’t caught much crying, yet it keeps catching the birds’ singing. I think I prefer it this way. I used to be so amazed at all the birds I could see at Arabianranta (where we used to live), but this new place in Vantaa beats it with other animals. Yesterday I saw a fox, two times. And on Saturday I saw two foxes. Deer are also an every day thing basically. Rabbits, squirrels – apparently our small natural brook also is the home to at least 8 frogs. I’m still not sure this is the home for us, but I’ve been liking it more and more. (So I guess at least my friends can stop worrying – I don’t hate the whole Vantaa anymore.)
Just being home feels lovely. I just went for two different trips, so for now I’m happy seeing my suitcase empty, on top of my wardrobe. I could just spend the summer at home, on our backyard, watching Eva eat rocks. So far we don’t have much plans so it might just be like that.
Girls trip to Vilnius
My first trip was to Vilnius, Lithuania, with five of my girl friends and it was so lovely. I didn’t mind the rain. It was so relaxing, worrying only about me. And I didn’t really – worry I mean. Drinking my coffee in actual peace each morning and having the best company around me (one who didn’t require diaper change or me feeding them) was simply the best. I also didn’t mind wine Charlotta, who might have taken some dance steps walking home from the restaurants.
And yes obviously, coming back home to my dear family was also lovely after getting to miss them a bit. (If you never go away you don’t have time for missing.) Besides, they were also living their best life here without me, not a single problem. I’m so lucky to be an equal parent, not the number 1 (even though Risto keeps saying that mom is the number 1).
Family trip to Cape Verde
After Vilnius I was at home for a few days, then we went to Africa! It sounds more exciting than it is, I promise you. Cape Verde was beautiful yes, but 5/5 of us caught covid. Me being first in high fever. Oh well, the joys of starting daycare (and catching all them flus). I wasn’t prepared to spend the holiday basically under blankets at the hotel room, though. But focusing on the good stuff, it was nice to spend time with Risto’s mom and niece, seeing some pretty trees and enjoying the beach, although for only short amount of time. Eva also loved the kids’ pool (the one day she got to experience it). The time difference also made it so that at home we got to sleep late for three days. Those were high luxury, let me tell you (too bad we also needed them for our jet lag so the enjoyment was also just a necessity). We’re back to waking up at six now.
I’m focusing on enjoying this moment and the upcoming summer, because life might look quite different next fall. If all goes well, I start studying. I’m realizing that all the days spent at home with Eva are gone quicker than I realize. You know, those days that seemed never ending. They were quite lovely too. As tiring as it is as a parent to constantly have someone’s back, I’ll never get tired of my daughter’s smile. I’m so lucky to have her. And I’m so lucky to have friends who I can travel with or just drink coffee on the floor. And to have a soulmate. Ah, I guess now that I’m writing, all the cliches are coming to me (because they are true, as my sister would say).
So all in all I guess the sun is shining, life feels like it has adventures for me again, and I’m having a good day.
And if we’re being totally honest here, I might have been having a little writer’s block. It’s been a while. And I just wanted to chat. Someone wise once told me to not worry too much and just start doing. Just start somewhere.
No title.
Just some words and feelings on digital paper. Light blue eyeliner and blue mascara. Dear diary, a horsefly bit me in the leg today on my run and I didn’t even notice. Instead I noticed the comics on the underpass and flowers blooming in the forest.
I guess I didn’t even realize it, but I was feeling a little worn out and grey. Worried and guilty for needing a little time, for putting Eva at daycare. Angry and sad for moving to such a different neighborhood. And tired, just tired.
This, a turn suddenly for the better, and not the least in my mind,
is very welcome. Thank you life.
