The best year of my life

What if we looked past the failures and bad days – and focused on the good things?
What if we ignored the big life events, major accomplishes and looked at the big picture – or better yet – the every day life?

In the end, in 2017, I was happy. Living a normal life. Waking up in the morning, drinking coffee, working. Relaxing, spending time with my family, friends and myself.  Laughing, crying and laughing some more. I got to see sunrises and beautiful sunsets. I got to swim in the big blue sea and I got to come home in the evening and take a long shower. I got to eat pasta on the sofa. I got to spend yet another year with the man, I never knew existed. I got to jump, sit and dance. So maybe – just maybe – it was the best year of my life.

nellim

January

  • I was determined, more than ever, to set goals, work hard & achieve them
  • I trained hard and was in a very good shape – and so was Risto (those long runs in complete darkness and rain pouring down our neck, oh boy)

holboxisland

February

  • The dream holiday at the most beautiful destination – Holbox, Mexico. I still think about those two weeks there pretty often
  • The most lovable baby girl was born and I became an aunt – I got the news, while I was in Mexico and immediately started crying

Spring Outfit ideas

photo: Natalie Vilen

March

  • After the sunny holiday, Winter seemed to be over and I was all about that sunshine and Spring
  • I was excited to meet some new people and make blogger friends

why to go to a hairdresser

April

  • I was finally getting rid of the green and yellow hues in my hair and my hair started to feel like me again
  • We confronted the snowy weather and went to have an outside barbecue (Risto’s brother is always ready to go out in the woods, no matter the season) – Summer was right behind the corner, aight?

suvilahti

photo: jasmin

May

  • I became my own super model and was really killing it in front of the camera (thanks to the many photoshoots done with my sister)
  • I worked hard and collaborated with 39 Finnish beauty bloggers

June

  • I rode my happy bike in the air and basically was enjoying life and not taking myself too seriously
  • I was photographed by an actual photographer and I loved it
  • We had the most epic space party ever and I got to cover my face in glitter

beautiful makeup

July

  • I was finally ready with the most important blog post, I had ever written here before. So the story of me getting another chance in life was published
  • I made some brides very happy by doing their makeup – it was an honor to be a part of their big date
  • We travelled to Amsterdam and I loved every second of it – especially me eating a waffle after having some drinks and taking bites between hiccups (It’s pretty common for me to have the hiccups after having just a few drinks)

the best headphones that are beautiful

August

  • We continued our travels and flew to Berlin. I was super grateful for the hot summery weather, we got to experience for the first time in that Summer, really
  • We did the shopping for the entire year (at least that was our excuse), rented a very nice car and drove speeds, that are only permitted on the autobahn
  • Risto participated in the writing of this blog, when I collaborated with Sudio and we both wrote our reviews
  • I turned 23!

september beauty favorites

September

  • After the holiday and Summer it was all about work again – I challenged myself and participated in a beauty competition (I didn’t get selected)
  • I was basically only posting Summer photos on Instagram, because Summer is life and I was not ready for Fall

fall style inspiration leather pants

October

  • I started a collaboration with my dear friend and an amazing cosmetologist, @kosmetologianu. The highlights of my year must be the monthly brazilian sugarings, haha. I also trust her with my lash extensions
  • We planned a bachelorette party for my sister and it was all but success, except the super bad cocktails, I was in charge of (in my defence, I had just been sick for the last two weeks and was missing some important ingredients) – “Do I have to drink this..?” She didn’t

makeup tutorial

November

  • Basically pre-December, so jingle bells all around – Yes, I put up the Christmas tree and was having the time of my life
  • I got super close to my blogging goals with visitors to the roof!
  • I decided to grow my natural hair colour and trusted my hairdresser with this project – she toned it a little and cut it to make it look healthy

sudio headphones

December

  • I learned to treat my curly hair and stopped brushing it – every day is another “look at this perfect curl right here!” day. So far Risto is managing just fine “Yes yes looks beautiful”
  • I enjoyed a very peaceful Christmas that was everything I hoped for  (relaxed, with lots of Chocolate and not much plans)
  • I was stressed, freaked out and in the end realized – that it was the best year of my life. Just like the next will be

Hormonal imbalance, hair loss and acne

I have to say, being so open about my acne journey and skin issues isn’t always fun. Treating acne is no fun. Trying several different treatments for it is definitely everything but fun – especially since nothing seems to work.

Still – since I know how common these things are – I want to share my experience, even though it means I have to say no to a zillion MLM-marketing companies (is there anything worse, than trying to take advantage from one’s desperation?) and listen to people telling me to drink water or try apple cider vinegar for my skin, basically.

What I have learned so far, is that you need a ton of patience for ANY acne treatments. And there are different types of acne out there. And what might work for me, doesn’t necessarily work for you. And also – acne sucks and it’s super hard to find good reliable information on it. So – how to treat hormonal acne?

hormonal acne

MY ACNE & TRYING DIFFERENT DIETS

Anyway – back to my skin, my acne, and my battle. Since I last wrote about the subject, I was pretty hopeful. I had understood by then, that my acne was and is strictly hormonal. I didn’t tell you at the time – but I was on a new treatment too. Now when it comes to diet changes, I tried to focus on foods, that would help to balance your hormones. But with just diet changes, I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere. And also… I’m just gonna say it: Eating super strictly, super super healthy, isn’t for me. I do – however – eat pretty healthy. I have been a vegetarian since I was nine years old. I eat lots of fruits, vegetables, fibres and I try to keep track of my protein intake as well. I haven’t talked about this much, but I have a history of eating disorders and having to stress about my diet and food constantly is not good for me mentally. For me? Eating pasta and chocolate every once in a while is healthier than not having them.

DIM – THE NATURAL WAY OF BALANCING YOUR HORMONES

The new treatment I was excited about was DIM. It’s short for diindolylmethane – it’s basically a food supplement, that works in your body in a way, that it balances the hormones. The substance is the same substance, that can be found in broccoli. Only you would have to eat a ridiculous amount of broccoli a day, if you wanted the same amount of dim from it. So DIM is the natural way of balancing your hormones. The internet is full of good experiences with the substance, especially with breakouts or acne, that is less severe. I am still to this day pretty convinced of this supplement, even though it didn’t work for me. I tried it for a month (I know, I could have tried it for a longer time, but I just basically couldn’t, as you may realize if you keep reading). DIM is something, I am keen to try again sometime and as I said, I think it’s a valuable option for someone, that has acne, but not as bad as mine.

MY HORMONES WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE

Even before the DIM-treatment and after that, I had pretty bad symptoms of hormonal imbalance. I’m just gonna call it that, ‘cause I don’t have any other diagnosis for my hormones and body not working properly. Basically my acne was worse than ever – super itchy and sore, bleeding and impossible to cope with. Besides that, I started to lose my hair. My hair was falling off everywhere – in the shower, after the shower, it was all over my clothes, my jacket, my bed. Naturally, I started to freak out a little. Besides the acne and my hair falling off, my menstrual cycle wasn’t regular and for quite a long time, I was a bit worried about it. So I called a doctor.

acne blog

POLYCYSTIC OVARY SYNDROME?

I was 99% sure, I would get a PCOS diagnosis. I knew a lot of people with that condition, and I had pretty similar symptoms. I was already devastated, because PCOS affects fertility as well. My doctor took all kinds of tests and they all came back normal. The one thing I didn’t get though, was the ultrasound to actually check if my ovaries were polycystic or totally fine. All I got was the recommendation to start birth control pills and maybe roaccuttan with that.

Well, since my ovaries hadn’t never been checked before and I wanted to know my situation, I booked another doctor appointment – one that I had to pay myself. And I was relieved to know, that I did not have PCOS – though the gynecologist wasn’t really as convincing, as I would have liked her to be. Still, she didn’t give me the diagnose, and I am happy and relieved that I am somewhat healthy and normal. She, too, recommended the birth control pills for me.

I AM ON THE PILL AGAIN

Now here’s the terrifying part – telling you all, that I am on the pill once again. I’m not even sure why it feels like such a big deal – maybe ‘cause I started this whole thing about being natural and not having to eat hormones. How I’ve felt so great without the hormones. But really – I didn’t have any side-effects from the pills. Moodswings? I’m prone to whatever feelings 365 days a year – and that is just my personality.

And after already eating them for over a month – I have good news. My hair stopped falling off almost immediately after I started to take them and my skin is already smoother, healthier and not sore.

I’ve started to think of birth control pills from a totally different perspective – maybe they are not a drug, but a medicine? Even though I didn’t have the condition I thought I had, clearly my body was not working properly and my hormones were a mess. Maybe the pills are just what my body needs. At the moment, at least. And if I had to eat them for the rest of my life or for many years? Well, after experiencing a severe, painful, bleeding acne (impossible to wear makeup even) and having my hair fall off – that seems like a small price to pay.

You don’t always have to fight everything off by yourself, with zero help. It’s also okay to take the help, eat that supplement or take that pill.

After all, I didn’t battle my depression naturally either – though that is definitely a more severe situation. Antidepressants were super important for my recovery.

The photos in this post are different to my usual acne post photos. These are from a photoshoot a while back. I am wearing a ton of makeup, but you can still see my acne through. These are unedited. It’s funny, but actually I don’t even have photos from my acne at it’s worst. But just imagine it being it a little worse, than in this post.

my acne journey

.. and some pictures of me smiling, just to remind you, that life is not that serious after all.

Photos: Susanna Pomèll / Healthyhair 


I’ve already learned by now, that there are a lot of people out there suffering from acne. How is your skin doing right now? Have you heard of dim, or tried it? And do any of you have the same experience with hormonal acne? Anyone else on the pill too?

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