Category: Wellbeing

Blogging about mental health and wellbeing and sharing my journey through depression.

2016-05-06 Lifestyle, Wellbeing 2 Comments

I am not perfect

.. But I’m just as good.

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Photos Inka Lähteenaro

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I wrote about giving up on birth control pills earlier. Now I’m back on the subject and what I’ve noticed after not taking excess hormones. I mentioned the pms then and I’m afraid that’s still an issue. I’m quite shocked of how long it can take for me to get normal again. I’m also shocked to see how sad or depressed I can feel all of a sudden now. Well at least I know it will pass and I’m just fighting the hormones to take off.

I have noticed two big  differences after stopping and they’re quite horrible both. My hair gets greasy and so does my face. Even if I wash my hair in the morning, it’s already somewhat greasy in the day. Still my scalp feels dry and itchy. Like what?! I don’t know what to do, really. I’ve tried coconut oil and not using as much dry shampoo.

My face has gone worse and worse very quickly. Actually you could talk about acne when it comes to my cheeks. You never realize how good your skin was until you get acne. I used to have smooth cheeks and now they’re covered in spots. My decollete and neck and back also gets acne. I promised to be prepared for this when I quit the birth control pills but I wasn’t. How could I prepare for this? I feel like I’m back at high school with my acne and low self esteem. Then again I can deal with this better than I could at the age of fourteen. Still it’s sad to look in the mirror and see your face and not recognise it as your own. I can’t hide from it. Makeup doesn’t apply as smoothly as before, makeup powders don’t cover enough and powders don’t last on me. I’m terrified of taking “today’s makeup” photos.

Writing this down and accepting that I’m not perfect isn’t easy. But maybe this is the first step. I’m gonna with this and get rid of it. But now I’m not gonna take the fast train – pills – but I will try organic cosmetics first instead.

I feel inspired by Em Ford who has made this beautiful short film about acne and how it affects you. I love those last sentences: “You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Not even yourself.”

My Pale Skin on Youtube & blog.

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2016-03-16 Lifestyle, Wellbeing Post a Comment

About birth control pills

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I realized some time ago, that I’ve been eating birth control pills for seven years.  Seven years!

That is crazy. The more crazier is that I started them when I was 14, so all of my teen years I was on heavy hormones. I’m scared of what will come underneath all of that now? Besides, I don’t eat unnecessary drugs, I prefer organic food and cosmetics, I’m careful with who I hang out with and alltogether I try to live my life as full and good as possible. Why would I eat pills that I can’t be 100% sure of? I don’t know the negative side effects. Sure they’re “easy” and they make those days  disappear, but that just doesn’t seem good enough reason to eat a pill that makes my body work wrong.

Maybe I’m getting old, but I wanna think about this in the long run. Healthy habits go far, and you don’t always remember to think of your medicine use as well.

After I stopped using birth control pill I’ve been very relieved. I feel pure and natural, although it must be a long way to go to that. How did I not get this sooner? Suddenly not taking the pill seems like the most logical thing to do.

After not taking the pill I also feel sad, angry and a little crazy. I feel like it’s constantly the day before periods or the first day of periods. Or them two mixed. Today a sweet potato was grown moldy and I started to cry. I thought about that sweet potato the whole week and how I was gonna cook that but when I finally took it to my hand.. it was gone.  Seems only logical to cry?
Not.

Luckily under all the pms I know where I’m going. That I’m fighting seven years of hormones out of me. That I’m getting pure. In half a year I will look back and laugh to this. And also, I’m getting a trophy for my man. “This is quite heavy..” he may have slipped between his teeth earlier.

I first started birth control pills for my acne. That is actually the biggest reason I didn’t stop sooner. I’m afraid of acne. But maybe I’ll write about that later.

photos someecards

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