Letter to my 25 year-old self
I turned 25 and I feel like I should write something wise here. Keep a big speech. I mean, write a blog post. God knows I give no speeches, unfortunately. It’s better for both the crowd and my mental health (and my pride).
But I’m just not sure what to say.
To be honest, I feel like big things are happening around me. To other people. My sisters are moving to different cities, starting new jobs and studies. My friend starts new studies. My other friend is making big changes with her work. I feel like everyone else is ‘making it’.
And I’m just here. At the same spot.
I wish I had something big to tell you, or have some big revelation. I guess I also wish that, because 25 feels like an age, where you are supposed to, well, I’m not sure what. But no, I’m still a work in progress. I’m still changing and finding my way. I do know myself and I’m getting more confident as time goes by. But I just can’t stand here and declare to the world that I feel absolutely fantastic, 100% confident in everything I do at the fantastic age of 25.
I’m scared, to be honest. I know now how quickly years pass and I want to make the most out of them. At the very least, I should have a clear path in front of me, right?
And it’s stupid. These thoughts are stupid. It’s just a number. It’s just another day and another month. I’m here and I’m breathing, aren’t I?
I get up in the morning. I have good and bad days. Some days everything I touch turns to gold and I see everything clearly. But sometimes I feel so lost even a run in the dark doesn’t cure it. I try and push myself out of my comfort zone, even though it feels so very difficult at times.
I have people around me and I laugh, cry, eat, exercise, walk and talk with them. I watch movies and cry at both sad and happy endings. I dream about Maldives. I dream about a new office. I love sitting in the car and watching buildings pass by. I make new personal records with my muscles – and sometimes with my brain. And I do, still, feel like a princess on my birthday.
I’m healthy and my family is healthy. My friends are doing good. My life feels meaningful in all its simplicity.
At the core of my being, I’m very happy. And at the moments of stress, anxiety and sadness, I’m reminded that I’m very much alive.
But since I know I wanted to hear it:
Keep on going. You’re fulfilling your dream and you’re working hard, I know. Go on, don’t stop. It might feel like a dream now, but soon it’s so real you’re gonna regret not enjoying the journey. Believe in yourself. And always say yes to a good cup of coffee.
Oh, and finally: you’re not in a hurry. Happy, happy birthday.
The other photos are from a year ago from this post when I turned 24.