What if I fall?

You know how it goes – oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

It sounds beautiful, easy and something that doesn’t hurt or cause sleeplessness. It’s a wonderful thing when there’s only one way to go and it’s up. It’s actually quite obvious – just like any other inspirational quote – especially if you read it at a bad time. Something is bad but at the end everything is wonderful.

But what if everything is bad and nothing is wonderful? What if you confuse the two? And what if something is bad but at the end everything is not wonderful, not beautiful.. but okay.

Flying might not hurt but falling does. It’s scary enough to stumble, to realize that you’re not perfect and to end up your face on the ground. But to truly fall is the scariest thing of all. Falling once might not be that bad. Falling twice might hold you back.. but falling three times makes you lose your high heels and sometimes even crawl on your knees.

What if I fall? What if everything I ever hoped for was always there but I never bothered to look?

You know the answer but it’s forgotten so easily. It needs repeating over and over again and sometimes what’s enough is hearing it from someone else. ‘Cause the only thing that really holds you back, the only thing that makes you afraid of even trying, the only enemy you ever really had..

is you.

Flying might not hurt but it sure as hell ain’t easy. It just so happens that it’s the only thing I ever wanted so I’m willing to try. So for the question I asked you at first let me answer you:

If I fly, it’s gonna be beautiful and awesome, and I’ll love it. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t get down anymore though. That would be impossible. I shall always come back down – even just to kick myself in the back and to dare to do it again.